The Morning Brief: Vol. IV, Year 2001
 

Glare of the Spotlight

THE MORNING BRIEF, Vol. IV, #18 (April 30, 2001) -- Time to step up, or step aside.

CONTENTS

She's not a she-male, she's French
Another one bites the dust
Freakin' J-Lo
Channel Surfing Ideology
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Mouse Droppings
That's Progress
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TOONAGE: Arab Strap @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
TOONAGE: Digweed @ The Mayan
TOONAGE: Coachella Valley Music Festival
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SIX DISK CHANGER
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Great lines
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UPCOMING CONCERTS
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CONTRIBUTIONS

@ @ @ Media Trends @ @ @

SHE'S NOT A SHE-MALE, SHE'S FRENCH >>> Not that folks are prone to muster up empathy for the famously beautiful, but how bloody mean can some people be? It's one thing to have a suspicion, another to launch an inquiry, and still another to allow the accusation - since proven false - that Miss France is actually a man to become international news. Besides the fact that who cares, it would seem that this sort of thing could and should be handled internally, without informing the entire Universe that a young woman running to become its pre-emninent Miss may be a Mister. Especially when she really is a she.

Besides conjuring up new spins on the phrase, "Beauty is only skin deep..." and whetting the appetite of personal injury lawyers from sea to shining sea ("I was running for Miss Universe when the Western Hemisphere accused me of being a man, and Larry Parker got me..."), you have to wonder if promoters of Miss Universe were looking for just this type of break to dissipate the Who Cares? factor. Because without the tantalizing prospect of a Mr. Universe, Mr. Trump's ultimate pageant is just another cheese-fest.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST >>> Wonder how the furor surrounding Nebraska Senator Bob Kerrey last week will affect his Presidential aspirations. Kerrey, who served as a Navy SEAL in Vietnam, was accused of ordering the slaughter of more than 20 Vietnamese civilians in a small village during the war. By some accounts, the deaths were performed execution-style. In various media reports, Kerrey seems to sidestep that accusation.

We know that Americans demand strong moral fiber of their leaders. Right. Extra points are awarded when a candidate is a war hero. How will this incident be regarded by voters? Can a candidate overcome this type of diversity? Should they? Or is he now unelectable? Is this a case of scrutinizing a public official's private life (he was a public servant in the war, but certainly not elected), or a yet another good reason not to vote for yet another politician?

FREAKIN' J-LO >>> Who elected this woman Queen of Hollywood? Sure she can sing, dance, act, model and primp...adequately. Aside from "Selena," a decent performance in "Out of Sight" that V-shaped MTV dress, and her ass, where is the quality on her resume? At some point she's going to have to deliver something significant, or else be known as the cute singer/dancer girl with the ass.

CHANNEL SURFING TIP >>> If you're on a random surf and you come across someone handling a gun, change the channel quickly. That way, you won't have to see anyone get shot.

Unless you like that sort of thing.

@ @ @ Bizness @ @ @

MOUSE DROPPINGS >>> The once mighty juggernaut that was Walt Disney Feature Animation now faces major cutbacks, according to a lengthy article in the Los Angeles Times last week. The world's oldest and largest animation studio has suffered from diminishing profitability since the success of "The Little Mermaid," "Beauty and the Beast," "Aladdin," and "The Lion King," along with the departure of the man Alec Baldwin once referred to as the 8th Dwarf -- Greedy.

Aside from a surprising dearth of original ideas, a development process best described as formulaic, and films that appear to have been written to market plush toys, the clear answer is a lack of vision. This has been apparent since a rift between Jeffrey Katzenberg and CEO Michael Eisner led to Katzenberg's departure and the creation of DreamWorks SKG.

No studio produced film has even come close to the success of "The Lion King" et al since Katzenberg left. He not only took a good portion of talent with him, but the special something that created the super-ultra-mega-hits of the early 90s. Mr. Baldwin's comments aside, Jeffrey Katzenberg knew a good idea (Arabian Nights as action/comedy) from a bad one (Hercules, the Musical), and he knew when to get out of the way to let the creative types create.

Now with massive lay-offs planned, animators facing 30-50% cuts in pay, years of bad will created by a management team that ruled by fear, and a very long losing streak, maybe it's time for President Tom Schumacher, who produced the studio's only losing film during the early 90s glory days, to take a page out of Katzenberg's book. Time for Tom to get out of the way and let those with vision run the most beloved film franchise on the planet.

THAT'S PROGRESS >>> In Manhattan Beach, contractors knocked down a McDonald's Restaurant in order to build a new one that looks like it's from the 50s. The demolished restaurant, which was built in the 50s, wasn't available for comment.

@ @ @ Music Music Music @ @ @

TOONAGE: Arab Strap @ Knitting Factory Hollywood >>> Arab Strap is a late night in a boozy Scottish pub surrounded by fog and one pint too many. The songs are about love and/or loss and always concern shagging. They are dirge-like, pensive, exhilirating, sublime. The closest I can come to a conceptual description is Belle and Sebastian crossed with Tindersticks on a late night bender under a full moon. I really enjoyed this band, their musicianship, and songs. A real discovery.

TOONAGE: Digweed @ The Mayan >>> A great dance experience in L.A.'s best indoor venue. John Digweed spinning live is a world-class event. Lacking in some ways the dimension of a session with his oftime partner Sasha, Digweed's solo sound is smooth and sublime, really keeps you moving with lots of variety, plenty of groove, and always that bassline. Yes, after five hours or so your mind will be throbbing with the beat the beat the beat -- but your body, stretched to the limit and soaked with sweat, is the better for it.

TOONAGE: Coachella Valley Music Festival >>> On the one hand, it's an awful long way to go to stand on a Polo field in 100 degree heat and listen to some DJs and a few live bands. On the other hand, it's not often you get a lineup like Iggy Pop, The Roots, Paul Oakenfold, Ozomatli, St. Germain, Roni Size, Sigur Ros, Tricky, Ian Pooley, Fatboy Slim, Chemical Brothers, Jane's Addiction, Squarepusher, Smith & Mighty, Weezer, and Kruder & Dorfmeister all in one day outside of an event like the New Orleans Jazz Fest. A considerably longer drive from L.A. And since I'm not going to New Orleans last week or this, I suppose Coachella was my Jazz Fest for 2001 (except the food was far from Jazz Fest-worthy). Here's a few short summaries of the acts I saw:

Dandy Warhols - Kind of an alternative-sounding band not trying too hard to wind up sounding pretty good on a hot Saturday afternoon.

Adam Freeland - Solid dance beats in the big long tent. Nothing terribly special about the music, but the tent was a lot of fun.

Iggy Pop - Real hard rock edge made for a nice counter-point to all of those beats. He's got a lot more familiar songs than you might think.

Nikka Costa - Promising new-comer with a solid band and a definite hit song in, "Everybody's Got That Something."

Ozomatli - Too quiet for the surrounding cacophony. Their set was getting drowned out and I had to go elsewhere. Too bad.

Ian Pooley - DJ with a rich sound really had the long tent going. Found myself dancing pretty hard on the grass at 5 p.m. on a Saturday.

The Roots - Their entire set sounded like an introduction for a song that was never sung. Sounded good at first, but a half hour later was still waiting for the song to begin.

Squarepusher - Funky, chunky beats not for the faint of heart. He may have been having more fun than the audience, but that was partly because the tent he was in was way too small.

St. Germain - Probably the best live musical experience of the day (that I saw). These guys are great live, with lots of percussion (loved the dual drummers) and horns. Too bad they started 30 minutes late and played a shortened set. They'd have been the talk of the show.

Paul Oakenfold - Hearing him live you can tell why he's the DJ of the moment. A total crowd pleaser, mixing in lots of different sounds, including funk, techno, soul, gospel, and some really cool sounds. Completely danceable, highly accessible, and a lot of fun.

@ @ @

SIX DISK CHANGER >>> For the long ride to and from the desert:

1. Dimitri of Paris, "ICU"
2. Arab Strap, "The Red Thread"
3. Wagonchrist, "Musipal"
4. Pete York, "Music for the Moring After"
5. Badly Drawn Boy, "The Hour of Bewilderbeast"
6. St. Germain, "Tourist"

7. LTJ Bukem, "Journey Inwards, Disk I"

@ @ @

GREAT LINES >>> From "The Simpsons":

LISA: You know the story of Oedipus Rex, Dad...he killed his father and married his mother.

HOMER: Who pays for that wedding?

@ @ @

Our brutal winter is over...spring into action!

Your pal,
David.
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May Day, May Day!!!

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You can also find prior Briefs at www.morningbrief.net if you've got the time. Or load it up from www.avantgo.com and take your Briefs to go.

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DISCLAIMAGE >>> Please feel free to forward The Morning Brief to whomever you like. If you do, in part or in segments, or if you'd like to re-publish, please copy me or just let me know. Thanks for reading!

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CONCERT CALENDAR

Notable shows in and around Southern California.
Highly recommended shows this color.
Red alert; must see!

5.01.01 - Semisonic w/Pete Yorn @ House of Blues
5.03.01 - Paloalto @ The Viper Room
5.03.01 - Michael Franti & Spearhead w/Supreme Beings of Leisure @ House of Blues
5.04.01 - Wagonchrist @ Knitting Factory Hollywood (late show)
5.05.01 - Natalie MacMaster @ UCLA Royce Hall
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5.09.01 - Jah Wobble & Deep Space @ Conga Room
5.10.01 - Papa Roach @ Hollywood Palladium
5.11.01 - Etta James @ House of Blues
5.12.01 - Stanley Jordan @ The Key Club
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5.16.01 - G Love and Special Sauce @ House of Blues
5.16.01 - Stereophonics @ The Palace
5.17.01 - G Love and Special Sauce @ House of Blues
5.17.01 - Deep Dish @ The Mayan (Liquified)
5.18.01 - David Gray @ Universal Amphitheatre
5.18.01 - Blues Traveller w/Pete Yorn @ John Anson Ford Amphitheatre
5.19.01 - Autechre @ El Rey Theatre
5.19.01 - Hothouse Flowers @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
5.20.01 - Mark Knopfler @ The Greek Theatre
5.20.01 - Blues Traveller w/ Pete Yorn @ John Anson Ford Amphitheatre
5.20.01 - Badly Drawn Boy @ El Rey Theatre
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5.21.01 - Badly Drawn Boy @ El Rey Theatre
5.22.01 - Dave Matthews Band w/Macy Gray @ Dodger Stadium
5.22.01 - The Blind Boys of Alabama @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
5.23.01 - Mahotella Queens @ Conga Room
5.24.01 - Frank Black & the Catholics @ The Troubadour
5.24.01 - Queens of the Stone Age @ El Rey Theatre
5.25.01 - The Residents @ Royce Hall
5.25.01 - Frank Black & the Catholics @ The Troubadour
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5.30.01 - Calexico @ El Rey Theatre
6.02.01 - Les Paul & His Trio @ House of Blues
6.02.01 - James Brown w/Tower of Power @ Greek Theatre
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6.08.01 - Kristin Hersh @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
6.10.01 - Mogwai @ El Rey Theatre
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6.11.01 - Mogwai @ El Rey Theatre
6.12.01 - Paul Simon and Brian Wilson @ Greek Theatre
6.13.01 - Paul Simon and Brian Wilson @ Greek Theatre
6.15.01 - Widespread Panic @ Wiltern Theatre
6.16.01 - Dido w/Travis @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
6.16.01 - Widespread Panic @ Wiltern Theatre
6.17.01 - Widespread Panic @ Wiltern Theatre
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6.21.01 - Robert Earl Keene @ The Roxy Theatre
6.22.01 - Mark Eitzel @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
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6.27.01 - Phil Lesh @ Greek Theatre
7.01.01 - Ani DiFranco @ Universal Amphitheatre
7.01.01 - Cesaria Evora & Bebel Gilberto @ Hollywood Bowl
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7.22.01 - Youssou N'Dour, Rachid Taha @ Hollywood Bowl
7.23.01 - Sade @ Hollywood Bowl
7.30.01 - Yes @ Hollywood Bowl
8.01.01 - The String Cheese Incident @ The Greek Theatre
8.03.01 - War @ The Greek Theatre
8.06.01 - Roxy Music @ The Greek Theatre
8.12.01 - Baaba Maal, Angelique Kidjo @ Hollywood Bowl
10.16.01 - James Taylor @ Hollywood Bowl

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CONTRIBUTIONS

HAVE YOU ever reconsidered? HAVE YOU done something on the spur of a moment? HAVE YOU eaten anything extra yummy? HAVE YOU found a haven? HAVE YOU considered moving to a new climate? HAVE YOU got an axe to grind? HAVE YOU taken a deep breath lately?

RE: THE POWER OF PETA >>> At the risk of offending the good members of PETA on this mailing list, enjoy herein the following, excerpted from the pages of Brandweek (4/23/01 issue):

"The young man in Indiana responded thoughtfully to the personal letter asking him to go vegan, the one he'd received from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. 'To me', he wrote back, 'the answer is as the Indians believed; respect for the life you take to sustain yourself, but come to terms with your place in the 'food chain'. Best of luck, Tim.'

PETA'd better get cracking if they're hoping to continue the correspondence; their latest pen-pal is scheduled to die by lethal injection in less than a month. Seems Tim's respect for life doesn't extend to anyone who might be in a federal building when he's bombing it....

...Think about it. What does PETA do, once they've convinced a mass murderer to go vegan? Is there an ad campaign in there, somewhere? I can see it; 'Hi I'm Tim, and my only regret is I didn't park the van closer to a McDonald's.' Morbid kidding aside, how could they have possibly leveraged that particular conversion?"

And (editorial note from Marian) why aren't the good folks at PETA fighting to end the death penalty about to be imposed on Timothy McVeigh, a very bad human but an animal nonetheless? Why is their concern only for the content of his last (and highly publicized) meal?

-- Marian Merritt.

RE: PARENTAL FITNESS TEST >>> Trying to decide whether or not you're ready to have kids...?

MESS TEST

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST

Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:0p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00p.m.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.

Look cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

AUTOMOBILE TEST

Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.

PHYSICAL TEST (Women)

Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.

PHYSICAL TEST (Men)

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

-- forwarded by Lisa Helene Donovan.

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