2000 YEARS LATER
THE MORNING BRIEF, Vol. IV, #31 (July 30, 2001) --- When will this robot movie end?
CONTENTS
The wages of
humor
Lucky Pants
Credit Card Sexism (women - spenders, more confident?)
It's Alive!
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4 Reviews of A.I.
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How T.V. teaches us about life
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SIX DISK CHANGER
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UPCOMING
CONCERTS
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CONTRIBUTIONS
THE WAGES OF HUMOR >>> Last week Conan O'Brien apologized for guest Sarah Silverman's utterance of the racial slur, "chink" during a gag. The bit concluded with Silverman, a very loose and edgy comic, facetiously using the word to mock political conventions, invoking its vulgarity to make herself seem grotesque. Her joke highlights the ugliness of the word.
Among those who didn't appreciate this subtlety, the Media Action Network for Asian Americans. They demanded Conan apologize for not having the line edited, and he did. Probably a wise, if gutless, move. By failing to explain the intention behind the joke, Conan treads backwards on the trail blazed by Lenny Bruce in the 60s. The incident seems trivial in light of ripe language used by Chris Rock and Dennis Miller on their talk shows. Not to mention Oprah's offensive new hairdo (just kidding!).
I'm not sure: is this different because it's on a national network as opposed to a cable net? Or is the ratchet getting tighter on jokes? Silverman certainly succeeded in establishing herself publically as being politically incorrect. She even landed a spot on Bill Maher's show last week to discuss the flap. It was most definitely a joke, satirical in nature, taken out of context and turned into something bad.
If you happened to read the bit "Conan Not Sucking" last week, the show I was referring to was the one with Silverman, which also featured Penn and Teller. I thought she was very funny. The joke in question was edgy, a throwaway, and though there's no doubt that she used a bad word, she used it with positive intent. Further proof that humor turned against itself is one of the least funny things in the world.
LUCKY PANTS >>> When all the cards are on the table,
the ducks are on the pond,
that's when I wear my lucky pants,
so nothing can go wrong.
MEN, WOMEN AND DEBT >>> Recent study showed that women are more likely to run up a big balance on their credit cards than men. Is that because women are big shoppers, less financially responsible, spending out of control? Or is it because they're more confident that some day they'll be able to pay everything off?
IT'S ALIVE!!! >>> Here's a tip: if you're drinking a Naked Juice or Odwalla or one of them, and it's the Green stuff with spirulina and wheat grass and pine juice, etc., do not leave the lid on while it's sitting in your car because the pressure can make it blow. I speak from experience.
A.I. - THE MOVIE >>> This film may be the biggest flop of all-time. Dollar-wise, it's certainly a contender, sucking that badly for $100,000,000 dollars. And while the domestic receipts will hit about that, shy of the $200 Mil needed to break even, there's even a greater cost: Stanley Kubrick's last film, his Swan Song, fully mangled by Steven Spielberg to the extent that no amount of re-editing could possibly yield a version that's both emotionally accurate and narratively coherent. Put simply, "A.I." blows.
It's too long. Unevenly edited. Full of pedestrian shots. Confusing. Ends twice. Yet even Steven Spielberg's hubris, bad writing, and mailed in direction - does he not have anyone who will confront him with truth? - can't fully obscure the genius at the core of this film. It just makes it extremely painful to watch. And so the real cost of this turkey is that because it was so expensive, so rushed to the screen, sparing no expense, over the top, such a flop for the ages, no one in their right mind would ever dare to make this story again. Which means we'll never see Mr. Kubrick's idea done right. And it was a good idea.
Kubrick's concept, adapted by Spielberg into a Spielberg Written/Directed credit, is as rich, and ingenious, and epic as a Swan Song should be. It ends with the purity of a son's love for his mother staring face to face with the eternal myth of the Happy Ending. A tribute to the power of story by a storyteling master. Magnificent. Haunting. Ageless.
2000 years later...
Should Mr. Kubrick be awoken from his eternal slumber a la "A.I."'s deadly coda (apparently the result of audience focus testing - "how about some stringy looking aliens!"), cloned directly into middle age and given one (1) day to live, the reaction might be something like this:
"One day and you make me spend it watching that?! Steve, that sucked!"
A.I. - One bad cherry >>> Life is like a bowl of cherries. Each cherry is its own, unique journey for your mouth. Sometimes there's a bad cherry. Doesn't taste right. That would be "A.I." It was picked too soon. The story - developed by Kubrick in collaboration with Spielberg for 12 years - didn't ripen. And there's no yummy, cherry aftertaste.
Life can also be like a bowl of cherries because when you eat all the cherries and they're gone and you're left there with a bowl, a bunch of stems and pits, a puddle of cherry goo, and all of those memories...
Will soon forget A.I.
A.I. - Designer's Edition >>> There's a beanbag chair I've been wanting to buy, and they had it in their apartment. That Bill Maher-looking guy and, Mommy, who could be the eldest daughter of Karen Allen. Did they choose that furniture for themselves, or was it standard issue? Anyway, that beanbag chair kicks ass.
A.I. - Pinocchio's P.O.V. >>> The Blue Fairy was just messin' with my little, puppet head.
@ @ @
SIX DISK CHANGER >>> A little self-restraint - 7 CDs, three I bought, one I can't remember, and three I wanted to buy but didn't, in honor of the recession just declared in Singapore.
1. Magnetic Fields, "69 Love Songs,
Vol. I"
2. Magnetic Fields, "69 Love Songs, Vol. II"
3. Magnetic Fields, "69 Love Songs, Vol. III"
4. Tindersticks, "Can our love..."
5. Tindersticks, "Tindersticks"
6. Chicane, "Visions of Ibiza, Disk 1"
7. Hed Kandi (Various), "Summer Sampler 2001"
@ @ @
May you experience true love this week. Not the love of the real for the artificial. Not the love of the artificial for the real. But true love. The really real kind. And if not this week, then maybe next.
Your pal,
David.
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I'm serious about that beanbag.
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The Morning Brief can be read every wwweek @ www.smmirror.com -- in the Web Stuff section.
You can also find prior Briefs at www.morningbrief.net if you've got the time. Or load it up from www.avantgo.com and get your Briefs to go.
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DISCLAIMAGE >>> Please feel free to forward The Morning Brief to whomever you like. If you do, in part or in segments, or if you'd like to re-publish, please copy me or just let me know. Thanks for reading!
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Notable shows in and around Southern
California.
Highly
recommended shows this color.
Red
alert; must see!
7.30.01 - Cowboy Junkies @ John
Anson Ford Amphitheater
7.30.01 - Yes @ Hollywood Bowl
8.01.01 -
Toots and the Maytals @ House of Blues
8.01.01 - The String Cheese
Incident @ The Greek Theatre
8.02.01 -
Lagbaja @ Santa Monica Pier (Twilight Dance Series)
8.02.01 - Joseph Arthur @
Largo
8.02.01 -
Ruby @ Roxy Theatre
8.02.01 - Afro-Celt Sound System @ El Rey Theatre
8.03.01 - War @ The Greek
Theatre
8.04.01 -
Neville Brothers/Steel Pulse @ House of Blues
8.04.01 - Brian Setzer w/Joe
Strummer @ Greek Theatre
8.04.01 - Pet Shop Boys, Soft Boys, Magnetic Fields @ Verizon
Wireless Amphitheatre
8.04.01 - Joey Beltram @ Spundae/Circus
8.05.01 - Area:One (Moby, New Order, Timo Maas) @ Glen Helen
Blockbuster Pavilion
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8.06.01 -
Roxy Music @ The Greek Theatre
8.06.01 - Charlie Haden @
Knitting Factory Hollywood
8.07.01 -
Roxy Music @ The Greek Theatre
8.07.01 - Charlie Haden @
Knitting Factory Hollywood
8.08.01 - The Iguanas @ Conga Room
8.08.01 - Charlie Haden @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
8.09.01 -
Buckwheat Zydeco @ Santa Monica Pier (Twilight Dance Series)
8.09.01 - Patti Smith @ The
Roxy
8.09.01 -
Crystal Method @ Mayan Theatre
8.09.01 - Strunz & Farah
@ House of Blues
8.10.01 - Matthew Sweet @ El Rey Theatre
8.11.01 - Eels @ The Roxy
8.12.01 - Squarepusher @ El Rey Theatre
8.12.01 -
Baaba Maal, Angelique Kidjo @ Hollywood Bowl
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8.13.01 - Tool & King Crimson @ Wiltern Theatre
8.14.01 - Tool & King Crimson @ Wiltern Theatre
8.14.01 - Depeche Mode @ Staples Center
8.14.01 -
Mutabaruka @ The Conga Room
8.16.01 - Venice @ Santa
Monica Pier (Twilight Dance Series)
8.16.01 -
Mose Allison @ MOCA at the California Plaza
8.17.01 - Eric Clapton @
Staples Center
8.17.01 -
Groove Armada, Photek @ Santa Monica Museum of Flying
8.17.01 - Leo Neocentelli
(Meters) @ Knitting Factory Hollywood
8.18.01 - Yellowman @ House of Blues
8.18.01 - Eric Clapton @ Staples Center
8.19.01 - Erykah Badu @ The Greek Theatre
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8.20.01 - Aerosmith @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
8.20.01 -
Radiohead @ Hollywood Bowl
8.22.01 - Aerosmith @ Verizon
Wireless Amphitheatre
8.22.01 - Paloalto @ The Troubadour
8.23.01 - The Reverend Horton Heat @ Santa Monica Pier (Twilight
Dance Series)
8.24.01 -
Junior Brown @ House of Blues
8.24.01 - The Reverend Horton
Heat @ The Troubadour
8.25.01 - The Reverend Horton Heat @ The Troubadour
8.25.01 - Nancy Griffith @ House of Blues
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9.01.01 - Long Beach Blues Festival (Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Koko
Taylor, Jimmie Vaughan)
9.02.01 - Long Beach Blues Festival (Bobby "Blue" Bland, Little
Milton, Shuggie Otis)
9.05.01 - Pete Yorn @ El Rey Theatre
9.07.01 -
King Sunny Ade @ House of Blues
9.07.01 - Latin Alternative
Festival @ Universal Amphitheatre
9.08.01 - Taj
Mahal & Funky Meters @ House of
Blues
9.13.01 - Third World @ House of Blues
9.14.01 - Melissa Etheridge
(solo) @ Long Beach Terrace Theater
9.15.01 - Melissa Etheridge (solo) @ Long Beach Terrace Theater
9.16.01 - Crosby, Stills and Nash @ Greek Theatre
9.16.01 - Melissa Etheridge (solo) @ Long Beach Terrace Theater
9.18.01 - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ Wiltern Theatre
9.19.01 - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ Wiltern Theatre
10.02.01 -
Janet Jackson @ Staples Center
10.06.01 - James Taylor @
Hollywood Bowl
10.12.01 - Etta James @ House of Blues
10.20.01 -
St. Germain @ Hollywood Palladium
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HAVE YOU ever reconsidered? HAVE YOU done something on the spur of a moment? HAVE YOU eaten anything extra yummy? HAVE YOU found a haven? HAVE YOU considered moving to a new climate? HAVE YOU got an axe to grind? HAVE YOU taken a deep breath lately?
RE: BUSHISMS >>> Try idea free idiotology.
-- Michael Shields.
RE: THE ENVIRONMENT >>> Why doesn't the New York Times tell people that neither Japan, France, Germany, Canada, nor Russia ratified the original Kyoto accord? None of them approved of the original accord and even what they approved of at the G8 summit was only done with some significant changes. As stated in Yahoo news today (http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010723/wl/environment_deal_dc_7.html),
"Forested nations like Canada, Russia and Japan won concessions from the EU to be able to offset carbon-absorbing forests against targets for cutting carbon dioxide emissions. Disappointed environmentalists say that means the cut is only about a third of the original goal of reducing industrial countries' greenhouse gas output to 5.2 percent below 1990 levels by 2012."
Yes, Bush could have talked big like these countries did, only to pull back and offer a weak alternative with more loopholes than the U.S. Tax Code, but he chose not to. Is he fully informed? Probably not. Was Bill Clinton fully informed? Probably not. Has any president ever been fully informed on any issue? Probably not. Neither President Bush nor President Clinton moved on Kyoto (well, Gore attended the conference...talked big about it, and then went home and really just sat on it - probably why Nadar's Green Party took so many Gore votes).
Political hypocrisy at a global effort, that is all that this environmental talk is right now.
-- Rick Gianvecchio.
RE: STATE AND MAIN >>> You had to be joking when you said "State and Main" was brilliant. You were joking right? If not PLEASE PLEASE educate me on what was so brilliant. The premise of a Movie company invading a small town has been done before and much better I might add, The whole Alec Baldwin car accident with a minor deal besides being predictable was not executed well and the only thing even redeeming about State and Main was David Paymar's performance. I did not find it remotely funny. I guess because I've seen it before and lived it. I found "Head over Heels" and "Notting Hill" much more entertaining and we both know that those movies were not the best.
RE: PERSPECTIVE >>> When you have an "I hate my job" day try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip."
Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the written material that accompanies the thermometer and read it.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement: "Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip Company."
-- forwarded by Gwen Matthews.